"Build homes, and plan to stay. Plant gardens, and eat the food you produce. Marry, and have children. Then find spouses for them, and have many grandchildren. Multiply! Do not dwindle away!" Jeremiah 29:5-6
"For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11
Growing up I was always a carefree person. My mother would often remark that I would never worry about anything. My motto was "Why worry about it unless it happens?"
All of that changed the minute I had my first child. I began worrying about things I never dreamed I'd worry about. It was as if a light had went off in my brain. Everything that I once did for fun now seemed dangerous. Perhaps the biggest worry I had was that something might happen to me and my son would grow up not knowing me. Not only would he not know me, but he wouldn't be able to remember anything about me...not even the feeling of how much I loved him. This was unbearable for me to think about.
Never before had I stopped to think about how precious life really is. I began obsessing about this and quickly became anxious about the uncertainty of my future. It was so bad, that I was going to the ER at least once or twice a month because I was having chest pains. Now looking back, I know that my anxiety and stress was causing this...not to mention my body trying to get back to normal after giving birth.
The only thing that comforted me was reading those passages from Jeremiah. It was like those verses were written just for me. God was telling me that His will will be done, but I need not worry about it. I needed to concentrate on raising my little boy and planning to watch him grow up and start a family of his own. God knows the plans He has for me, and they are plans for good. Those verses had a major impact on me. Now, whenever I start to get anxious about the future, I open my bible and reread those verses.
God is so much smarter then we give him credit for. I now know why women are not born with the feelings a mother has. If we were, we would not have children. The most amazing thing that has happened to me was giving birth to my son. I now understand what unconditional love really means, and I have a completely new sense of how hard it must have been for God to put His ONLY son on that cross for OUR sins. I just don't think I could do that with my son. The Lord has used this to bring me closer to Him and learn to let go.
I have learned that the only way for me to stay sane is to cast my troubles to the Lord. I cannot let myself worry about all the things that COULD happen in the future. I am slowly allowing myself to get back to my old motto. Although, I know that I will never be as carefree as I once was, I know that I am making progress.
Please remember that no matter what your problems are, they are never to big for God to handle. We just have to learn to trust in Him and know that only He knows the plans He has for us...and they are plans for good.